Campfire Chat: The Definitive Grey’s Anatomy Seasons Ranking with Minimal Justifications
by Sam Beasley
This is The Definitive Grey’s Anatomy Seasons Ranking with Minimal (but accurate) Justifications. I’m right, and you’ll agree once you read this list and my brief but flawless analysis.
If you live under a rock and have no taste, these are 19 known seasons of Grey’s Anatomy for context:
Season 1 - 4 The TV Gold Era
Season 5 - 8 The Chaotic Pubescence Era
Season 9 - 11 The Refocusing Era
Season 12 - 14 The Meredith’s Turn Era
Season 15 - 19 The No Plot, Just Feelings Era That We Reluctantly Acknowledge as Grey’s
Cool. Without further ado, in the words of Mario, “Here we go!”
Garbage Rankings
19) Season 18
Half-baked horny episodes are built around sweaty PSAs. I quit watching this program because of this season.
18) Season 19
NEW INTERNS! We love new interns! New intern seasons always are good seasons. Not that I’ve watched this season. Mainly, because I didn’t get a callback to be a new intern.
17) Season 16
I don’t remember anything from this season besides Alex disappearing forever to move to Baldwin City, Kansas (I kinda enjoyed it) while Richard has a psychotic break because of his fake hip.
16) Season 15
The season when they announced the “new direction” for the show. Which is somewhere between Army Wives, Degrassi, and Mad Libs.
Still Watching But Not Happy About It Rankings
15) Season 17
Congrats to them for running a production during Covid. But this highish placement is 100% because of the George O’Malley cameo.
14) Season 14
How many of these Doctors have brain tumors?! First Richard, then Izzie, then Geena Davis, and now Amelia?! Slutty April was maybe the best plotline of the season. As always, thank god for new interns.
13) Season 8
Somehow Owen Hunt (derogatory) is Chief. Despite the season having fulfilling episodes (like the board examines), it also had that horrible “Sliding Doors” episode and the WORST EPISODE EVER: THE PLANE CRASH!
What the Kids Call “Mid” Rankings
12) Season 7
The worst things about this season: The Musical Episode
The best things about this season: Teddy’s fine-ass dying husband plotline, Bailey’s fine-ass boy toys... and the Musical Episode
11) Season 6
Getting into the good seasons, but Season 6 gets a lower ranking because of the sloppy exit of Izzy, the annoying Mercy West interns (who all die), and Mandy Moore guest-starring with a colostomy bag.
Top Cristina Quotes: The “And that will never happen again” Speech. Which aired on my 21st birthday. I watched this scene on repeat after a breakup once.
10) Season 13
The top ten! The main overarching plot of the season was a recycled plot from Season 9. A type-A brunette woman is brought in to fix the hospital, and the doctors hate her. It didn’t work either season. But I loved the clever bottle eps and in a great season finale, the hospital catches fire, and Stephanie (one of the best interns ever), after breaking up with Fez from that 70s show, kills a rapist.
I Really, Really Like Rewatching These Seasons, It’s How I Got Through Lockdown Rankings
9) Season 12
None of y’all thought Season 12 would be ranked this high. But this is the first season that that might pass the Bechdel Test. “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner” Episode, when Callie brings her new girlfriend, Penny, to dinner is a Chekov play. Truly, one of the best-written episodes of TV, and birthed the Meredith Blending Margarita meme (see social media assets).
8) Season 5
Let’s get this out of the way: GEORGE ONLY GOT 45 MINUTES OF SCREEN TIME THIS ENTIRE SEASON! DEATH TO THEM ALL! Oh no? Just death to George?
And introducing a new super sexy and deeply troubled ginger surgeon, Owen Hunt (derogatory)! SURPRISE! He becomes the most annoying character in the entire series next season, but for now, super sexy. Callie becomes a lesbian. Izzie gets brain cancer that makes her have sex with a hallucination of her dead boyfriend. Yet, during her surprise wedding a few days later, I sob uncontrollably while Alex reads his vows underscored by Ingrid Michaelson.
7) Season 10
In an otherwise “meh” season, nothing else matters because the ingeniously crafted Cristina and Meredith fight leads into their big finale, the last dance to Tegan and Sara, and one of the top Cristina quotes: “He's very dreamy, but he's not the sun. You are!” (This should have been Hunt’s last season, too.)
6) Season 9
NEW INTERNS! And we love new interns! Especially after everyone died in a plane crash. We love Meredith being “Medusa.” We love Cristina becoming besties with Mr. Feeney.
5) Season 11
Post Cristina's exit, when the future of the show was uncertain, they whipped out three of the best plotlines of the entire series: Enter Maggie, Enter Geena Davis, Exit McDreamy. They thread the needle better than any other season.
THE BEST TELEVISION EVER RANKING
4) Season 3
We are in Full-Tilt Grey’s Boogie and Katherine Heigl wins an Emmy (even though we all know it was really for her Season 2 performance).
Top Cristina Quotes: “There's a club. The Dead Dads Club. And you can't be in it until you're in it. You can try to understand, you can sympathize. But until you feel that loss... My dad died when I was nine. George, I'm really sorry you had to join the club”
And this iconic moment: “He’s gone.”
3) Season 4
NEW INTERNS! And we love new intern seasons! Lexie started as super annoying but that’s ok! She’ll die in a few seasons. (Plus, she was only brought on the show in case they needed to write off Meredith.)
It had the best George writing, like his “Second Chances” speech.
And the best acting on any tv show ever: Cristina’s “It’s Not Difficult” speech.
2) Season 1
“A month ago, you were in med school being taught by doctors…” CHILLS! One of the best pilots ever.
It’s only 9 episodes because of the writers’ strike, but with the arrival of Addison Shepard and a syphilis outbreak at Seattle Grace, they set up the next season to be the best season of television ever written…
1) Season 2
One of the best seasons of television ever written. It is everything anyone knows about Greys without ever watching it. The bomb episode had the nation TALKING. Addison reading Derrick for filth in front of the entire hospital. Sara Ramirez arrives with their Tony and dances in their underwear. Ellis Grey’s Alzheimers revealed. And, of course, Deny and his LVAD wire.
Every single one of these quotes is from Season 2:
“Pick me, choose me, love me.”, “You’re my person.”, “ I'll never be able to forgive you!" "For dying?" "No! For making me love you!”, “You chose Addison. I'm all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke. You don't get to call me a whore.", “Actually I prefer to be called ruler of all that is evil“, “It was me. I cut his LVAD wire. I did it, no one helped me. And now, I thought I was a surgeon, but I can’t. I thought I was a surgeon but I’m not. So I quit.”
And the season ends with “Chasing Cars” by Snow Patrol playing it out…
Do you agree? Sound off in the comments below! Lemme know how you would rank and I’ll respond how you are wrong.
XOXO,
Sam